


A Little Love

by antiquesunflowers



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mark Lee (NCT)-centric, Minor Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, NCT 2019, Sad Mark Lee (NCT), Supportive Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, nct - Freeform, nct 127
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-22 16:50:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22386139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antiquesunflowers/pseuds/antiquesunflowers
Summary: Haechan and Mark always existed in the same sentence.The same as the sea and the shore, the moon and the sun, flowers and the earth.Undeniably intertwined, destined to spin around each other for eternity.And Haechan has never given Mark any reason to ever imagine anything different.(A markhyuck drabble)
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Kudos: 41





	A Little Love

Haechan and Mark always existed in the same sentence.

The same as the sea and the shore, the moon and the sun, flowers and the earth.

Undeniably intertwined, destined to spin around each other for eternity.

And Haechan has never given Mark any reason to ever imagine anything different. Even in the hardest times, when comebacks come too quick and breaths come too shallow and everything swirls and everyone asks so much of him, and he’s never right, and he’s just a _kid_ , how could he _ever_ be fine when everyone has expectations in spades of him and he could never fulfil them, Haechan just waits and holds his hands and asks him to breathe.

When being the golden child of NCT and SM and all his dreams flood his mind and his brain and his heart and he wants so bad that it hurts, hurts his lungs and his heart that he can be the person everyone wants on stage, but off stage he’s so pityingly scared, always scared of saying the wrong thing or laughing at the wrong time or breathing wrong that all he can hear it white noise and his vision tunnels.

When he prays and prays, for the safety of his family but Jaemin’s back still gets hurt, and Jungwoo still gets sick, and Renjun is still forgotten again by the company to the swirling mobs, and Hyuck, his sun Haechan still gets injured and if he can’t protect them, what can he do?

When he prays for the fans, for their happiness, for their eternal good luck and for their fortune, and instead only receives ridicule in return, for only the simple act of caring, of caring too much, because he can never do anything right.

Because Mark cares too much, about too many and so, so hard, because if he cannot protect people, what can he do? If he can’t support the people he loves and their dreams, how can he ever follow his?

Because pedestal that Mark Lee, lead rapper of NCT and one of the best rappers of SM exists so much higher than the one that Minhyung Lee exists on, and every night when he removes his mask he come crashing down from so high, and the bruises hurt more than just his body, and how can he ever do anything but hurt and hate?

Hate that he is finally living his dream, one that others would kill for, and he still constructs a self-pitying dome that he cannot shatter, hates that he can never be right, hates that no matter what he does, no matter how much he changes himself, someone will always hate him.

And yet, reaching through the glooming swirl of his mind, Haechan always reaches his hand, and always waits until Mark takes it.

And yet, when Mark wakes up crying at 3 am because he dreams of endless laughing and worthlessness, Hyuck holds him, countering the thoughts with whispers of love and support and all the sunshine and light that he personifies.

And yet, even when Mark feels most piteous, most digusting and dirty, Haechan always waits, and never ever leaves him, and sometimes Mark even feels like he could be worth something someday, if someone like Hyuck could ever love him.

Yes, watching the sunset won’t make him golden. Just as watching the moon glow won’t make him iridescent. Somehow, in the middle, perhaps he can find something that is as irrevocably stunning as both. Perhaps, in loving him, he will leave a little love left over for himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow so that wasn't any form of projection at all


End file.
